Non Suicidal Self Injury (NSSI): Helping Kids Who Cut Themselves

Helping Kids Who Cut: What's the Problem?

Teenage cutting is an emergency situation that calls for immediate intervention. Self-medicating—no matter how it is demonstrated—is an escape mechanism for numbing out-of-control emotions and ending the pain of feelings that cannot be explained or understood.

(Warning: this article contains a graphic image regarding the dangers of self injury.)

Kids who cut themselves want to stop but lack the proper skills to help themselves. The good news is most self-injurers can quit if they receive the proper intervention because self-harm is a disorder similar to overeating or abusing drugs.

As parents, our task is helping kids who cut to break this cycle:

• Emotions burgeoning to the breaking point
• Self-injury
• Temporary relief
• Back to the breaking point

Help your child stop running on this destructive treadmill of pain, and supply them with coping techniques by employing these parenting tips for a child who self-injures to end the emergency of self cutting.

911 Help for Self-injurers

If your child was drowning, would you investigate methods to save him or her or throw a life preserver? If your child is self-cutting, throw the life preserver – quick. (See below for a toll-free information hotline number.) Once a child is safe, you have time to research available help and support for stopping deliberate self harming actions.

Some red flags to watch for are children who begin wearing inappropriate clothing (for example, long sleeved garments in summer time) or act as if they are hiding something. Self-injuring behavior can become addictive and may cause other problems like scarring, infections or excessive blood loss. 

Get professional help to identify and treat the root issues of the self injurious behaviors. Most health care professionals label self-injury as Non Suicidal Self-Injury (NSSI), but most parents call it "help me, Jesus” time.

Self-injurer Triage

Health care professionals use triage in emergencies to classify, prioritize, and treat patients. Follow this same concept with kids who cut themselves. The three stages of NSSI are:

• Superficial: pinching or scratching skin
• Moderate: cutting or burning skin
• Major: cutting off body parts.

Three triage steps for helping self-injurers:

1. Signs kids are crying for help: self-hitting, head-banging, or self-injury. Get professional help quick.
2. Active listening to determine what the self-injuring child is communicating by cutting. Evaluate the severity of self harm inflicted. Is there time for behavior modification techniques, counseling, or other preventive measures, or is immediate intervention and emergency care needed?
3. Deal with core problems rather than bandaging wounds. External symptoms like self-mutilation and self-injury signal internal issues like inability to express emotions appropriately, anxiety, depression, or low self-esteem.

What's the Answer?

Some self-injuring children have found help from techniques like these:

• Joining support groups and getting help from others with the same problems.
• Journaling - because moving feelings from inside the body to an external source acts as a safety valve to release the build-up of toxic emotions. Many feel they can stab the paper with words and save the skin.
• Choosing safe alternatives like markers or pens for decorating rather than cutting skin.

The most important step is for these children to be able to admit they have a problem and ask for help. Once the root cause - or trigger - for the self-injuring behavior is identified, they can work with a mental health professional to learn appropriate coping techniques and ways to stop cutting.

Keep in mind that any coping techniques treat the symptoms but do not cure. The best answer is to seek professional help from a mental help professional and to develop a plan of long-term strategies for helping a self-injuring child stop cutting. The best parenting tips for a child who self-injures is to stop the behavior, diagnosis the symptoms, and treat the causes so you can end the emergency of cutting behaviors and self-injury.

Disclaimer

This article is for educational purposes only; it is not medical advice.  Consult with your health care professional if you suspect your child is cutting or performing other self-injury behaviors.

Fortunately, most parenting problems are not as serious as self-injuring. Combating childhood fears like being afraid of going to the dentist or helping kids learn to stop wetting the bed are challenging enough for most of us. What is the most pressing issue you are facing with your kids? How are you coping?

Resource material: "What Is Cutting?," article reviewed by D'Arcy Lyness, Ph.D, 06/2012, KidsHealth

S.A.F.E. Alternatives: Self-injury Information Hotline: 1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288)

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Do not cut image by jblahblahblah under CC-BY-20 via Flickr
Self harm image by 30 d a g a r m e d a n a l h u s under CC-BY-ND 2.0 via Flickr

No More Wet Beds! What To Do For Bed Wetting In Boys

What to do for bed wetting in boys? Nocturnal enuresis, or bedwetting as it is more commonly called, is a traumatic experience, especially for the little boy who is dreaming of graduating to "big boy" status. He may feel anxious, ashamed or embarrassed by his inability to stay dry all night.

Bedwetting can be caused by a failure to wake up before urinating

You may feel overwhelmed or frustrated because having to do extra loads of laundry adds to your household task load, or you feel guilty because you are tired of getting up in the night to wake your son and take him to the bathroom. The good news is there are techniques to help boys stop wetting the bed, and you may not even need to go to the extent of purchasing bedwetting alarms or resorting to medications.

Bedwetting in Children

Here are some important facts about bedwetting in children that you may or may not know: 

• It's harder for boys to stop bedwetting than it is for girls.
• Bedwetting typically ends by the time children are between 5 to 16 years old according to WebMD. Their report goes on to say that in the United States, twenty percent of five-year olds wet the bed, with the number dropping to one percent of 16-year olds who still experience nocturnal enuresis.
• Medical disorders - autism, for example - can exacerbate the problem and make it harder for boys to stop wetting the bed.
• One-fourth of all preschoolers who are bed wetters stop as their bodies mature.
• No one - not the child or the parents - is to blame if a child is wetting the bed

What to Do About Bed Wetting

The first step to helping your son stop bedwetting is to confirm there are no contributory issues such as medical conditions, stress issues or hormonal problems.

Next, you need to understand what causes bedwetting. Typically, it is a failure to wake up rather than a full bladder. Once you've eliminated these potential problem areas and understand the trigger, you can focus on techniques for stopping the bedwetting.

How to Prevent Bed Wetting

Behavior modification is the most effective method of preventing bedwetting.

Establishing consistent routines such as bedtime rituals that include urinating before going to bed and limiting (but not restricting or denying) the consumption of liquids in the evening are time-tested ways to stop bed wetting issues.

These routines combined with incentives like a dry nights chart or journal for the child to fill in before bedtime and rewards such as stickers for having dry nights usually provide the necessary incentive for most boys.

Be Prepared

Plan ahead so if a bedwetting episode does happen, you can get your son clean, dry and back to bed quickly and easily. Many parents find it helpful to have a change of clothes, underwear and some towels staged by the bed.

That way, if your son does accidentally wet the bed, help him change clothes. Take the wet bedclothes off the bed, and use the towels to cover the bed so you can get him back to sleep quickly. Don't take time in the middle of the night to remake the bed; instead, focus on getting him back into the bed and asleep.

In the morning, your son should make the bed (with your help where necessary) to help him learn responsibility for staying dry. With many children, the inconvenience of making the bed in the morning encourages them to stop wetting the bed.

Reinforce the Positive

If your child wakes up before urinating, take him to the bathroom as quickly as possible to reinforce the idea of getting up and going to the bathroom to stay dry. Praise him for his success. Many parents find that waking their child, taking him to the bathroom, and then returning him to bed works well for helping their sons to stop bedwetting.

What to Do if He Can't Stop Wetting the Bed

If these simple methods don't help, it may be time to consider other options such as counseling, purchasing aids like bedwetting alarms, or having your healthcare professional to another evaluation to determine what other methods might help. However, keep in mind, most boys eventually stop wetting the bed as they grow older. If your son does have an occasional accident, simply revert to the methods listed above for a few nights until he is consistently dry for a week at a time, then stop.

Patience and persistence from their parents, guardians or caregivers combined with reliable bedtime routines, positive reinforcement for successes, and regular health check-ups help most boys stop wetting the bed.  

Knowing what to do for bed wetting is just one of the ways we parents deal with sensitive issues like kids' health problems or childhood fears. Fear of the dentist or the dark can be just as anxiety producing as wetting the bed. What childhood fears are you currently handling in your family?

http://visual.ly/bedwetting-vs-potty-training-infographic

Resource Material: Parker, Hilary, "A Parent's Guide to Bedwetting," WebMD, accessed 02/19/2013
Image by Anissat under royalty free license via SXC